Things no one tells you about having three kids

1. Life is designed around families of four

The only exception I’ve found is a pack of Magnum ice creams which come in a pack of three. Everything else, fours. Hotel rooms. Days out deals.

2. You’ll be torn

One kid will want you to play babies, the other do painting, the other will need a snack. Somedays you’re pulled in three different directions at once and it’s exhausting. It makes you feel guilty and it causes arguments as they fight for attention.

3. You can’t always say yes

Saying yes to toys in gift shops, or toys in town, means saying yes three times. It means the cost of a single trip out can quickly add up.

4. There’s a lot of admin

I’ve got two at school and one at nursery and already there’s a lot of admin. School emails, clubs, organising social lives. There’s only one thing for it, a magnetic, wipeable wall planner.

5. You’ll forever be at the shop

How does a seven days worth of shopping last four? Make that make sense.

6. You can’t go to the supermarket together

A family of five doing the food shop? That is absolute madness.

7. You get to do everything three times

First steps, first words, learning to read and write, starting school. You get to do it three times. It feels like such a privilege.

8. You need more toilets in the house

Law of averages, someone always needs the toilet while someone’s in the shower.

9. You’ll wish you got the mum wag

Every time I plug the kids into the Nissan, I wish I just got the Picasso. Embrace the days of driving a mum wagon. Sign me up for a Sharron.

10. The third time around hits different

Their firsts are your lasts. But what a celebration that you get to enjoy those firsts again.

11. The third baby/toddler is just different

Mine LOVES chaos. The busier the better. A stark contrast to my first who was born in lockdown. For two years we had minimum chaos. Fast forward to baby three, and he loves nothing more than being around lots of kids. He goes to birthday parties (from birth) and he isn’t afraid to fight his way in the pecking order.

12. You’ll hear, “You don’t love me, you just love [insert other child’s name]

It will make you feel so much guilt. But, remember, kids are smart. This is really just a way for them to say, can I have some of your attention now, please?

13. You have to leave them to it sometimes

You can’t step in on every argument. You’ll feel like the bloody police! Sometimes you just need to let them figure it out together. You might be surprised how it works out. If it’s physical, I’ll step in. But a disagreement, I’ll leave them to it.

14. You’ll get through so much bread

Toast, sandwiches, snacks. So much bread is consumed in our house. Milk is another one.

13. You’ll figure out shopping hacks

I try to keep packaged snacks to a minimum as they’d send me bankrupt after two days. I go for packs of biscuits, fruit, raisins, dried apricots, carrot sticks, cucumber, apple slices, homemade Barney Bear cakes. Filler, but not too expensive. When you’ve got three, a pack of Barney Bears will last you one day, then the next there will be an argument over who has the remaining two. They come in packs of five. Avoid.

14. You’ll have a secret language with other parents of three

They get it. Sometimes all you need is a nod and a smile while you’re pushing a pushchair, carrying a bike and balancing a scooter on your head.

15. You’re stronger than you thought

Mentally and physically.

16. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re drowning

Drowning in emails. Washing. Cleaning tasks. General life. It can feel hard to just be there, to be present. It’s something I have to work at, finding a moment to sit down in the chaos.

17. The washing is never done.

Washing. Hanging out. Folding. Piling up. Putting away. I understand now why when I was a kid I’d just put everything back in the wash rather than put it away. It’s a lot. Sometimes impossible to keep on top of, especially in the winter without a tumble dryer.

18. If you were one of three, you’ll understand your parents

Me and my husband are both one of three. And we both apologised to them recently for all the times we didn’t listen as kids.

19. You’ll have so much fun

When the stars align and no one is poorly and everyone has slept well, you can have the most fun together. I love it when the full band is together.

20. You’ll eat three lots of leftovers

If you hate food waste, you’re going to end up eating the leftovers. Times three.

21. It’s hard. But it’s worth it

Some days I have no idea how I’ll make it to bedtime. I’ve screamed into more pillows that I can count. But, they also give me so much joy. We could have an awful bedtime, then I look at their sweet, innocent sleeping faces and I just thank god they’re here. Or we have a really simple day in the village, park and bakery, and the kids are all on good form and it’s easy. You get to play, be silly. Be a kid again yourself, THREE TIMES!