What’s a two year age gap like?

In January 2020, I had Ida.

In January 2022, I had Martha.

For 10 days I had two under two.

We always knew we wanted a small gap, and knew it took time with Ida and it might with Marfs. But, turns out it didn’t. She came along easily. I manifested so hard that I’d have two girls with just under two years between them.

Obviously when it happened I shit myself.

There I was. April 2021, in lockdown, staring at two lines on a pregnancy test. Thinking, but my baby is a baby.

I felt guilty. I felt like I was trying to replace Ida. She was only 15 months old. Only just walking.

After the initial shock wore off, I couldn’t wait for Ida to meet her best friend.

And you know what? That’s exactly what they are.

The age gap is hard at times. I won’t lie. But most of the time, I look at them and can see the most amazing friendship developing.

Ida doesn’t remember a time before Martha – she can hardly remember what she had for dinner! And Marfs only knows Ida which is pretty special.

Two year age gap – my experience

Ida understood there was a baby in my tummy more than I thought she would. Then when we brought her home from nursery and the baby was in a Moses basket in the living room, she didn’t even question it.

She just kept saying “baby” over and over again.

Ida has always wanted to be close to me, and this was a little harder at times if I was feeding Martha. But she handled it okay. I’d managed to stop feeding Ida in the October so there wasn’t a crossover.

For me, the hardest part of two year age gap was bedtime. Is bedtime.

Both of them still need help getting to sleep. And staying asleep. For months I had to rock Ida’s bed!

We took the side off her cot and she would come running in at any point in the night asking for tickles. Usually I was still feeding or not long finished feeding, and had to get back up. She didn’t want Matt to help. Martha didn’t want Matt either because no boobs.

So that was tough. I was living on very little sleep.

The other hard part is remembering the oldest one is still little. She was only two when Marfs came along. She couldn’t really speak. I think, looking back, I expected her to suddenly be grown up and have a perfectly developed rational brain.

Of course she couldn’t understand things like, I can’t carry you, the baby, the scooter, and 4 teddies she wanted to bring. Of course she would have a melt down.

I should probably mention nursery fees here. Nursery fees have been tough. Paying double fees until Ida got her funding, then a slight reduction but still steep. It’s not easy.

Oh and I changed so many nappies for the first 5 months of Martha’s life. Ida was out of nappies at 2 yrs 5 months. I was so sick of poo and wipes.

The best bits of a two year age gap

So nursery’s expensive and sometimes they fight because they’re both still little and can’t understand I only have ONE PINK STRAW.

But, the best bits of a small age gap far outweigh the bad.

They go to nursery together. And forest school. They’ve got the same friends. They laugh at the same jokes. They have similar toys. They share clothes.

They’re friends.

Ida often says Martha is her best friend. Or she’s a poo poo head. But mainly BFFs.

If you’ve got a small age gap on the horizon, it will be tough. There will be really difficult hours and minutes. But you’re giving them a friend for life. They’re growing up together. And that is really something special.