Should I have three kids?

Should I have three kids is a question I asked myself for at least a year. I Googled it, too. Because Google has all the answers. Including answers to huge life decisions.

One thing I read while I was in the considering phase was, “You’ll never look back at your life and think, I wish I didn’t have a third.” And “Don’t think about the chaos, think about who will be around your dining room table in 15 years time.”

So, if you’re sat here reading up on whether you should have three kids or stick with two… here’s my experience of having three kids so far.

Should I have three kids?

Here are a few things I wish someone had said to me when I was trying to decide whether to go for the trio. When I found out I was pregnant with number 3 I was most worried about telling people because I didn’t want them to ask “Will you move house now?” Or “What car will you get?” These were questions I wasn’t ready to even think about!

You rarely have three kids at once.

I wish someone told me this. I have three under five. One is at school 5 days a week, another at nursery 3 days a week, then I have the baby. So I actually only have three kids on weekends, and in the mornings and afternoons. This makes it much more manageable.

You can budget and make money go further

Since having three kids I am much more careful with money. I have Monzo and use the pots. I have pots for everything which stops me needlessly buying coffees etc as my bank account looks like I have no money. However, everything is allocated. I’ve even started saving for nursery for the little one.

You can make your car work

We ended up getting a new car, but if we had to, we could have coped. As long as you can get at least two children and an adult in the back, you’ll be okay. The kids will get bigger and move into smaller car seats. If you have a four seater car, you will need something bigger though.

Kids don’t need to do every club

When my eldest started school I signed her up for so many clubs. These were coming in at £60 a month. For three kids this would be a significant cost. However, I quickly learned that she wasn’t ready to commit to clubs. She was happier to come home and play with her sister. I think we put to much pressure on ourselves and our kids to do all this extra curricular stuff when actually they’re probably pretty happy just hanging out with the family or going to the park. One day I’m sure all the kids will want to do clubs etc, however while they’re young and you have nursery to pay for, they really don’t need to.

You can make your house work

Moving to a bigger house because you want or have three kids isn’t always possible. For us, a new house wasn’t possible. Rates were through the roof and it just wasn’t worth it. So, we make do (for now) in a two bed. You don’t need a bedroom for every child. My baby and three year old sleep in the room with me and they don’t wake each other. You just have to find the sleeping arrangements that work for your family. When nursery fees are a thing of the past, we’ll probably look to move then. The kids like to play near us. I bet if we had a play room they wouldnt even play in it!

Here’s my experience of living in a two bed and how to make it work.

You’ll never have enough money or time

You live to your means when it comes to time and money. You’ll make it work.

You’ll have more than enough love

When I had my second I didn’t worry that I wouldn’t have enough love. But coming into the third I thought surely not. I’m all loved out! Then I met my son. I was overwhelmed by how much love I felt for him instantly. A huge rush of emotion and I just kept thinking “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad.” And I think that every day. He really is the final piece of our family. He’s made me feel so full and complete.

Here’s the moment I met him…

Now that is a face of pure emotion!

Should I have a third baby?

Still thinking on it? Take your time (if you can) it’s a big decision and you need to make sure it’s right for you and your family.

One thing that might help is to write your outgoings and income on a spreadsheet. Think about what you can drop if needed and if you could manage paying for nursery for another baby — or dropping time at work depending on your situation.

At the time of editing this, my baby is now 9 months old. He is in to everything and it is occasionally chaotic. However, I wouldn’t change it for the world. The good times FAR outweigh the tough.